God has feelings, too

Last night I had an epiphany. As you know, I just finished reading The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura. Her basic premise is "men have feelings, too." When I shared that concept with my teen Sunday School class, my 15-year-old daughter piped up, "Yeah, but, like, who cares?" If we are honest, we must admit that sometimes we ladies treat men like they don't have feelings, and if they do, who cares. Dr. Laura says we can't continue to ignore our husbands, treat them like they're our last priority, and withhold our affection without it eventually harming the marriage. Last night the thought came to me, "God has feelings, too." How long can we ignore Him, withhold our affection from Him, disregard everything He says, and make Him our last priority before it begins to harm our relationship with Him? We need to love Him like He deserves to be loved. How His heart must be grieved when we treat Him like He doesn't have any feelings, like we really don't care even if He did.

Perfect Love

[It must be the devil who really doesn't want anyone to hear our messages on holiness. This morning our MP3 player was started and recording, and Jonathan (our son) turned it off after the service. But something went awry and it was completely blank (absolutely no recording) when I picked it up just a few minutes later. That means two out of the four messages haven't been recorded. My apologies. I'm putting a brief overview here so you don't miss out on this very important Christian doctrine.]

Over the past few weeks we've examined several aspects of holiness. Today we want to look at "perfect love." In Matthew 22:35-40, Jesus said the greatest commandment was to love God with all your heart, soul and mind. And the second, He said, was to love your neighbor as yourself. This, Jesus said, summed up all the commandments. Love for God and love for others is at the very heart of Jesus' teachings. And it's at the very heart of holiness.

Earlier, in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus told His disciples, "For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter heaven" (Matthew 5:20). What Jesus wanted them to understand was that holiness is not simply keeping a list of do's and don'ts. If anyone was seen as "holy" in Jesus' time, it was the Pharisees. They were meticulous about keeping the law, praying, tithing, and doing pious acts. In fact, many of us would be thrilled to have more "Pharisees" in our congregation. But for all the "good" they were doing, they were missing something. They were keeping the law outwardly, but not in their hearts. Their motive was power, position, prestige and pride, instead of love. Our righteousness must flow out of our love for God and others.

But notice what Jesus said in Matthew 5:43-48. He said we are to love our enemies and to pray for those who persecute us. If we love only those who love us, what good is that? Check out verse 48: "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." Sounds a lot like, "Be holy, because I am holy," doesn't it? Holiness is perfect love. It is love without conditions, without strings attached, without a "but."

1. God loved us without a "but"
In Romans 5:8 Paul tells us that God demonstrated his love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Do you realize what an amazing statement that is? His love for us was an "in spite of" love; a love with no "buts."

Can you imagine if Jesus had loved like most of us love? He would have told God: "I love these people, God, but you don't realize how sinful they are... but it will hurt too much... but they don't deserve it... but I don't deserve to be treated this way... but they won't appreciate it... but I'm only 33 years old -- I'm not ready... but there must be another way... but I'm the Son of God! Instead, He said, "But not my will, but Thine be done."

Philippians 2:6-8 tells us that Jesus was God, BUT He made Himself nothing, taking the nature of a servant, being made in human likeness... He humbled Himself and became obedient to death -- even death on a cross.

There were no conditions on Jesus' love for us. No stipulations. His love was not a "because of" love, but an "in spite of" love. He loved us in spite of our faults... in spite of our failures... in spite of our sin... in spite of our sinfulness.

If anyone had a right to attach a "but" it was Jesus. But He loved us because He created us. He loved us because He decided to love us. He decided to redeem us. And He is our example. Holiness is Christ-likeness. And if we want to understand how to have perfect love, we need first to understand how He loved us. Then we'll understand how we are to love God and others.

2. We are to love God without a "but"

In John 14:15 and 23, Jesus said if we love Him, we will obey Him. Love and obedience to God go hand in hand. And our love for Jesus is to be without excuses, without strings attached, without the "but." Think how many times we say, "I love you, Lord, BUT... my family comes first... but my job is demanding... but Sunday is my only day to sleep in... but how could You let this happen to me?

Jesus a parable about this. In Luke 14:16-20, He told about a man preparing a banquet. But all the guests came up with excuses why they could't come. In Luke 9:59-62, Jesus called men to follow Him, but all they had were excuses: one had to bury his father, another had to buy a field, another had check out some new oxen he purchased. What they said was, "I'd love to, BUT..."

Jesus makes it very clear to His disciples that they need to obey. We need to obey. When we hear His Word, we must do what it says. There is no place for a "but." We can't say, "But that was the Old Testament... but that is too hard... but that doesn't make sense." We show our love to Christ by our unqualified obedience to His Word.

3. We are to love others without a "but"

Jesus said in John 13:34-35, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all amen will now that you are my disciples, if you love one another." And Paul concurs in Romans 13:8: if we love others, we fulfill the law.

Scripture commands us to love. We're not commanded to feel something -- to be filled with sentimentality. We're commanded to do something. Love is a decision to be obedient to the law of God. It's not an option. It can't have a "but." We can't say we love him/her "BUT I need to put him in his place... but I can't forgive him... but you don't know what she did... but I don't deserve to be treated this way... but they don't deserve to be loved... but he'll never change... but I can't be nice... but she's not nice to me."

Now, I know that many of you have been hurt by people in the past. Love doesn't mean we don't have pain or that we need to feel something. Love is doing what is right. It's action. We can let go of how we feel and do what is right! Look at 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and notice how it tells us what we are to do, not how we're to feel: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wroings. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

It's easy to love some people. But Jesus says were even to love those who have made themselves our enemies. There are no excuses. There are no "buts." If a "but" is attached it's not really love. At least, it's not the love of Christ. It's just a cheap imitation. It's counterfeit. It's no more praiseworthy than the qualified affection of the world.

We are to love one another without excuses, without qualifying it, regardless of how lovable the other person is. Our love for one another must be like the love of Christ: in spite of each others' faults... in spite of each others' failures... in spite of each others' sin... in spite of each others' selfishness. God will take care of the "buts" -- He will do the convicting and the cleansing. Your job is to love -- by acting with righteousness... By speaking the truth... By building up the body... By meeting needs when it is in your power to do so... By exposing sin... By praying for one another... By being Christ-like in every situation.

Love is doing what's right. It's making a conscious decision to set aside your feelings and to act in a way that is obedient to the Word of God. Perfect love is loving one another without any "buts."

So the question today is, Are you living a holy life? We've been asking God to cleanse us from any selfish desires or plans, to help us get our selves out of the way so we can be filled with Him. God wants to fill us with a perfect love for Himself and for others. Here's a simple check you can do to see if you are filled with the love of God. This is the holiness test. Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 in the first person -- and see if it rings true in regard to God, to your family, to your neighbors, to sinners. "I am patient, I am kind. I do not envy, I do not boast, I am not proud. I am not rude or self-seeking or easily angered. I keep no record of wrongs... I always believe the best and hope for the best." Can you do that? Perfect love is the mark of holiness. And it's God's desire and demand for every one of us.

The book I didn't want to recommend

I finished reading a book on Tuesday morning, one that I didn't want to like. But I loved it. In fact, I think every women in America should read it. It's called, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. I guess if I had to sum up the contents of the book, I'd say, "Men have feelings, too," and "Stop being a self-centered wife." There were times when I was reading this book that I actually started to cry, realizing how insensitive I've been to my own husband at times. Even though he thinks I'm wonderful, I KNOW there have been many times when I have been much more concerned about having my needs met than in meeting his. The book also made me realize that there are a lot of hurting men out there.

I'd love to hear what you think of the book. Buy a copy, read it, then pass it on to a friend. That's what I did. And now I have a waiting list of those who want to borrow it. This book will definitely be on my Christmas shopping list this year for some of the favorite women in my life -- not as a way of criticizing them at all, but as a way of helping them to understand their mates and better their marriages.

This one is a quick read. Very engaging. Not too long.

Now I'm reading, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, a classic. I'll let you know if I'm equally impressed with this one!

The Pope has it right!

(06-04) 07:58 PDT VATICAN CITY (AP) --
In his latest blunt assessment of U.S. society, Pope John Paul II on Friday denounced the acceptance of abortion and same-sex unions as 'self-centered demands' erroneously depicted as human rights.

The pontiff said that 'in the face of such erroneous yet pervasive thinking,' visiting U.S. bishops should stress to congregations 'their special responsibility for evangelizing culture and promoting Christian values in society and public life.'

'Rights are at times reduced to self-centered demands: the growth of prostitution and pornography in the name of adult choice, the acceptance of abortion in the name of women's rights, the approval of same sex unions in the name of homosexual rights,' he said.

I'm starting to like the Pope more and more. He's got it absolutely right. We're demanding "rights" in this country that are really nothing more than expressions of self-centeredness and decadence. He says we should be evangelizing culture and promoting Christian values. And He's right again! As Christians we should not be ashamed of standing up for what's right according to God's Word. But I'm afraid we don't seem to be making much progress. It seems to me that the world is encroaching on the church instead of the other way around. It's time for the church to stand up and be the church!

What do you think?