Lectio Divina

I almost forgot to let you know about the new Lectio Divina Bible Study series that is now available (at least partially) from the Wesleyan Publishing House. The series is being published by WPH in conjunction with Beacon Hill Press (Nazarenes). Right now John and Hebrews are ready, with Philippians and Mark available in the fall. A total of 12 titles will be available by the end of next year.

I wrote the study on the gospel of John. It was the hardest writing assignment I've ever had. And one of the most satisfying.

Lectio Divina is the ancient art of "divine reading." The reader is invited not just to read the Bible for information, but for spiritual transformation. Each of the eight Bible studies in each book are designed to help you interact with the text: What is God trying to say to me through His Word? They're designed to help you develop a rhythm in your devotional life, balancing praying with listening, and studying with applying. I think you'll find the series refreshing. Instead of simply giving you information, the books ask questions to help you discover the "living Word" for yourself.

A New Chapter in Our Lives

In just over 8 hours we begin a new chapter in our family's life. Our 18-year-old son Jonathan will head to college. Sure, he'll only be an hour away, but it's still a great transition -- for him and for us. The mother part of me feels a sense of sadness. But mostly fulfillment. God has brought me to the point where I feel very much ready for him to go. Ready for him to grow up. Ready for him to make his way in the world. I firmly believe he will be wildly successful at whatever he does. This week he told me he feels God calling him to ministry. So much for someone to take care of me in my old age. But I couldn't be prouder. I want him to serve the Lord with all his heart. I want the Lord to use him in bigger and better ways than he ever saw fit to use me. I want him to be a world-changer. Or to serve humbly in obscurity it that's what God calls him to do. I just want him to be faithful.

Such joy to see your child grow up and (finally) make wise decisions. God be with him!

Rebecca is a senior this year. It will be her best year so far, I'm sure. And then she'll be off to college. She still has plans to become a meteorologist, but she's also open to what the Lord wants for her life.

So, in another year Dan and I will get to experience the empty nest syndrome. And we are so ready for it. We are ready to be spontaneous again and to feel the freedom we felt in our first 4 1/2 years of marriage (BC -- before children). We feel a release that can only be from the Lord. We're ready to release them to God. Ready to let them make their own decisions. Ready to catch them when they fall. Ready to keep loving them no matter what.

Thank you, Lord, for the privilege of being a parent. Thank you for the grace to let go. Thank you for loving our kids even more than we do!

AUGUST 20 UPDATE: Yeah, right. I cried the whole way home from Lakeland. Then I cried most of the afternoon. I need help! :)

On Suffering and Healing

The month of July was a brand new experience for me. At the end of our vacation in June, I took a misstep off a curb in San Diego and, apparently, hurt my back. I thought nothing of it at the time, but the next morning I had great difficulty walking. The pain increased over the next couple days until I finally asked Dan to take me to an urgent care center in Las Vegas. They gave me enough medication to get me home.

Most of you have already heard the rest of the story. An MRI showed a ruptured disc, a disc that has a tear, 3 bulging disks (two with central bulging in contact with the spinal cord). It appears that there may be a free-floating fragment of disc from the ruptured disc. The contents of that disc are pressing on the sciatic nerve, which caused excruciating pain to radiate down my leg. I spent the better part of the month of July lying in bed in pain, just waiting for the next pain pill (Percocet).

The pain was probably the most intense I have ever felt in my life. After the first week, I told Dan and the kids to just take me out and shoot me. It was the first time I was ever able to truly understand why people with debilitating illnesses would contemplate suicide. Not that I ever considered it. But I understood it. All of a sudden I felt a tremendous repect and admiration for those who persevere through years of pain. I wondered how they could possibly do it. That's when I realized I'm a wimp. I always thought I had a pretty good tolerance for pain. But I learned that I'm not as strong as I thought I was. And I wondered how I would possibly last if the pain persisted for more than a couple more days.

But here I am. Six weeks after the onset of pain. And I feel great. I spent all last week in meetings in Indianapolis. The discomfort was minimal. I marveled because I knew it was only because of the hand of God on my life. I knew HE was working to make me well so I could do His work.

But I also have a lot of questions about healing. I read Jim Garlow's new book on healing this week and I must say I don't agree with him on every area. Is it always God's will to heal? Does He heal according to our timetable or His? Does God ever cause sickness or injury in order to teach us or to discipline us? My foray with pain and suffering, albeit short-lived, was valuable to me. I learned patience. I learned to depend on God. I learned to simply rest in Him. I learned that there were people (even church people) who loved me even when I couldn't "perform." I find myself (now) glad that God gave me the privilege of learning these lessons the only way I could have -- by undergoing a period of suffering.

I have no idea what lies ahead of me. But I do know that God will use every situation to draw me closer to Him and to make me more like Him.